Please answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions:
1. Is there a need for shoes that are not flip-flops?
2. Do you get enough Vitamin D?
3. Would you, if you could, cozy up to a roaring fire mid-May?
4. Is it important to wear clothes lined with faux fur?
Below are the correct answers for Boston:
1. Ten months out of the year, yes.
2. If by Vitamin D you mean Doritos, then yes.
3. There are times that, yes, I would. And I'm not ashamed.
4. I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you through my fuzzy hat.
If your answers are different, you might need to know How To Stay Properly Warm in Winter.
1. Buy a proper coat. We aren't talking waterproof-but-uninsulated. We aren't even talking waist-length. Anything that could, in any context, be described as a "jacket" will not cut it. We need high-tech, insulation-filled, waterproof, knee-length, hooded
coat. To save money, you can buy a real winter coat either a) in a warm climate (they are cheap where nobody needs them!) or b) in the off-season (summer sales!). As painful as it is to try on coats in June, just think about the angst you will save yourself in November when it starts rain-sleet-hailing. "But," you protest, "why should I buy a huge coat when I will only need it for a month or so?" HA! we say. This year, we were still wearing our coats in June.
2. Buy proper boots. Again, cute will not cut it. At a minimum, boots should be waterproofed and hit above the ankle. Something big enough to accommodate pants is good as well, since it's very unpleasant to spend all day walking around school with soaked bottoms to your pants. "But guys," I hear you saying, "can't I just avoid the big puddles?" No. We can't really explain why, and honestly, we don't want to think about it since it's warm outside right now, but the puddles will find you, and they will soak you. Also: traction. If you can avoid the slow, embarrassing fall where you hit hard on one hip and then proceed to slide down a hill in full view of all your neighbors, you should.
3. Buy texting gloves. Admittedly, texting gloves are not usually the most awesome of gloves, but they serve one important feature: you can keep your gloves on as you, shivering,
check to see when the bus is coming. Sometimes, this is such a wonderful thing you may have to wipe a tear from your eye before it freezes on your cheek. But keep your gloves on for that too.
4. Buy a hat. This is slightly more open to interpretation, but we can tell you that tightly woven hats with brims are great for keeping the heavy snow from blinding you. It will keep your hair dry. It will keep you from flying into a rage-coma when a chunk of snow, wet and heavy, falls from the roof of a bus stop and onto your head.
Now don't get us wrong, winter in Boston is a beautiful thing, replete with outdoor ice-skating and idyllic hot-chocolate-sipping. But the best of winter is even better when you are properly attired.
